Myron Hall

People say that everyone has the potential to be an artist. This is a lie. Most people suck at art. But don’t take our word for it. Give us money for a degree and see if you fail.

 

Degrees Offered

  • This degree was made especially for elementary teachers since this is all they do all day.

  • This degree is only fine. Not great, not terrible, just fine.

  • The only classes where your grade depends on the teacher’s opinion of it.

  • A degree for people who never wish to see the light of day again.

 
 

Ella Strator

“If you set your goals ridiculously high and it's a failure, then you probably were an art major.”

Penn Sil

“The way to get started is to quit your art degree and find a real job.”

Mr. Perseus

Be careful not to confuse Mr. Perseus and Mr. Paris. Perseus is from Paris, and Mr. Paris is also from Paris, but it’s Paris, Texas. Confused yet?

Perseus is a dapper man who is passionate about art. Born in Paris, France, Perseus has been a snob to Americans since childhood. He can frequently be seen at the local coffee shop, the Three Bean Cafe, judging other people. He enjoys judging others. It’s his favorite pastime.

Perseus used to work at Harvard Law School where Athena was one of his favorite students. When Athena had a disagreement with another professor, Ms. Medusa, Perseus helped Athena get her fired. This led Medusa into a deep decline where she became so ugly no man would ever date her. Now, for some reason, all three of them are in Olympus.

Besides working as the art teacher, Perseus is the dean of the co-ed dorms. He tries to punish all the students who break the rules, but since they’re co-ed dorms, there is so much rule breaking not even Perseus can stop it.

Perseus lives with his wife Andromeda. In his free time, Perseus judges others. That is all.