Olympia Gymnasium
Go Spartans! We don’t really offer any sports degrees, but we’d really like you to give us money to come play for our teams. That would be so nice of you. We would be your best friends.
Intramurals
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Haven’t you always dreamed of getting multiple concussions while being on the losing team?
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The only reason people play this sport is to have an excuse to fight each other.
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Playing college basketball is a dream many people have. A dream we will crush because our team absolutely sucks.
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We don’t really have a baseball team it’s just a front for our illegal gambling ring.
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Psych! We have no golf team. Hah. Loser.
Homer Unn
“We may encounter many defeats and then we will encounter even more. And then some more. And after that, we will be defeated again.”
Hollin Juan
“Don't let anyone tell you what you can't do. Play on an OU team and figure it out for yourself.”
Coach Atalanta
You haven’t seen tough until you’ve been coached by Atalanta. She is as loud as she is competitive. She enjoys making you feel bad about yourself. She may need to rethink her coaching style since OU never wins any games…
Coach Atalanta was born in Chicago, IL and given up for adoption. She was adopted by former NFL Chicago Bears player Shoeneus Atalanta and brought up with a competitive spirit. It was her dream to coach college sports.
Though she did get to teach college sports, it ended up being for the lamest team in existence. Her parents are not proud of her.
Atalanta lives with her husband Hippomenes and their son, Parthenopaeus. Say that name three times fast.